You may have woke up this morning trying to piece together the night before. Your head my hurt and you may feel a slight sickness doing the rumba in your stomach occasionally becoming like volcanic ash in your mouth.
I was driving last night…physically I felt fine…but my mind told me different…when I awoke my first thought this morning was school.
Suddenly, my head hurt thinking of the ‘to do list’ and my stomach was not doing the rumba but the more vigorous flamenco.
The New Year hangover hit me and the penny dropped. School starts Monday. As I lay there fretting, I realised I have perhaps set impossible goals for myself during the past year.
Last year, I was tough for me for a variety of reasons. It was mainly because I moved jobs, going from leading a school of 150 to a school of 430. I loved my previous school, it was like leaving my family or putting a child up for a adoption… It was a hard decision. But I knew it was time to go. I had achieved all that I could and I knew someone fresh could move it further forward.
My new charge presented many challenges – many of them created by myself!
I look at the children in my care and think of my own. I am the school mummy – I can make or break the future for children in my care. The thought and responsibility I have, is at times overwhelming.
In my last school, partly due to it’s size, I knew everything about every child. In my new school, I’ve nearly exhausted myself trying to replicate these high goals. I want each child in my school to know they matter. I want them to know I care. I want them to achieve their potential.
Before Christmas, I wrote every child in school a Christmas Card. I made it my business to tell as many children that they were good or great. I tried to speak to every parent or grandparent that attended our Christmas festivities to them something positive about their child.
I want the same relationships with my pupils, my staff and my parents that I enjoyed in my last school. I know I’m getting there and look forward to doing more community based activities in the new term.
Lying in bed, I realised my good is never good enough. I am my own worst enemy at times – I give myself work! I know I need to address my expectations of my performance.
So as I think about resolutions for 2016. I have to catch sight of myself, I need to focus more on my family and friends. Most importantly I need learn to accept that I can only do my best and hope it is good enough.
Maybe next years hangover won’t be so bad if I do.